Clean Slate (New Mafia Trilogy #2) Read online

  Jason turned me around in his arms so I was facing him and lowering his head, he nuzzled my neck, placing soft kisses below my ear inciting a riot of goose bumps. I stopped his progress by seeking out his mouth with mine. He hugged me close, practically lifting me off my feet. I moaned when my nipples, already hard and sensitive from the cold, crushed against his chest. The friction of material against skin left me wanting to rip our clothes off.

  A hand ran up my leg, disappearing underneath my dress and we were approaching public indecency when I pulled away. I was thankful we picked a location in between two streetlamps, just outside the sphere of light from either one so we were shrouded in shadows.

  “I’ve wanted to kiss you all night,” Jason said as he tugged me against him, seeking out my lips again. This time he kept his hands on top of my dress, looping his arms around my waist in a loose embrace and I did the same to him, slipping my hands in his back pockets. Each kiss was an ember, creating a slow burn inside. By the time we separated, my lips were swollen and hot. “I know you want to go slow, but it’s killing me since I know every inch of you already.”

  I knew every inch of him too, intimately, and he had been very respectful of my wish to take things slow all week. Oh, who was I kidding? I was horny. “We’ve gone slow enough. Let’s go back to my place,” I said.

  Jason’s face lit up when I tugged on his hand and started walking towards the parking lot. Fortunately we didn’t get pulled over on the way to my apartment since Jason broke the speed limit and rolled through several stop signs.

  Chelsea was staying with Derek so we had the apartment to ourselves. Jason flipped the futon out to a bed while I went to the bathroom and freshened up. I was all sorts of minty fresh by the time I was done. When I walked back into the living room, Jason had turned off all of the lights and lit every single candle we had in the living room. He was in the process of undressing and was shirtless; his pants were unbuttoned and hung low on his hips. His skin glowed golden in the candlelight, evidence of the time he spent surfing earlier. His hair had grown out over the past few months so it skimmed the top of his broad shoulders.

  Seeing him standing there half naked, looking at me with desire and expectation written all over his face, my mouth went dry and my palms became damp. While we had slept together before, there weren’t any strings attached and it had somehow worked as part of our easy, chill friendship that I’d grown to depend on. This time was different and it would mean something, causing things to change between us.

  There would be no going back.

  Chapter 34

  Jason crossed the living room to meet me, where I stood frozen at the end of the hallway. He cupped the back of my neck and drew me close, placing his lips gently on mine. Slowly, I relaxed and opened to him, running my hands up his bare back. His hands dropped to my waist, fingertips brushing against skin beneath my camisole top. I gasped at the contact, encouraging him to explore further and he sought out my breasts. He took his time teasing each nipple to a hard point through the material of my shirt. I grew impatient and tried to move so I could take it off, but he held me still, a firm grip on my hips as he placed kisses along my collarbone, up my neck and eventually back to my mouth. I was practically panting with want by then. His pants were already unbuttoned, so I quickly unzipped them and they pooled on the floor around his ankles. He was hard for me and groaned when I slipped my hand below the waistband of his boxer briefs to stroke his length. This action seemed to spur him along as he lifted my shirt over my head and we were skin to skin, feverish.

  Jason guided us to the futon and he lowered me onto the mattress. He hovered above, an arm on each side of me, biceps protruding and his hair hanging down in his face, but not enough to hide his eyes which were now a darker shade of blue. He settled between my thighs and I welcomed his weight as he continued to kiss me. His lips were soft, a contrast to his hard, lean body. His erection pressed against my clit, the material of my sleep shorts providing extra friction as I rolled my hips up to meet his. Wrapping my legs around him, Jason ran a hand up my thigh and underneath the hem of my shorts. He teased my opening, stroking with his fingertips before sliding an entire finger inside, priming me for more. My entire body flushed with warmth and I moved against his hand, scratching at his back as I exploded into a million pieces.

  I was literally gasping for air when he sat up on his knees, still between my legs, and smiled down at me.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said. His voice was coarse with desire. He grabbed the waistband of my shorts and tugged, pulling them towards him. In one fluid movement, he was on his feet, taking my shorts with him. He quickly took off his underwear and returned to bed. He lay on his side, watching my reaction as he slipped a finger back inside me. I moaned and rolled, draping my leg over his hip and pressing against his hard on.

  “Oh god, Natalie, baby. Please tell me you have condoms.” He flicked my clit, sending a vibration through my body. I pressed my face into his chest, holding onto his arms and rode the shudder out.

  “In there.” I pointed at the small dresser that was against the wall closest to the futon. Jason rolled over and opened the bottom drawer then he stopped moving.

  “What the fuck is this?” Holding the card up from Dominic, he turned and faced me with an accusatory gleam in his eyes.

  Oh shit.

  ***

  “It’s not what you think,” I started to explain, but he interrupted my train of thought when he tossed the box of chocolates onto the bed.

  “Are you still together?”

  “No! He sent me a present, but it doesn’t mean anything.”

  Jason opened the card again and read Dominic’s message out loud. “Although we’re apart, you’re always my Valentine and will forever possess my heart. I’ve sent you a reminder of home, where I wait for your return.” Setting the card on top of the chocolates, Jason stood and picked his underwear up off the floor and put them back on. “That’s a pretty intense note for something that doesn’t mean anything. When are you returning and were you planning on telling me?”

  “It’s not like that!” I jumped up and stood in front of him. “I’m here, aren’t I? Dom doesn’t know about us because I haven’t told him, not that it’s any of his business.”

  “Then what’s up with this fucking Valentine’s Day shit?” He pulled his pants on then shrugged on his shirt.

  “I can’t control what people send me in the mail,” I argued, with my arms crossed over my breasts.

  “But you held on to it. If my ex sent me crap like this, I’d throw it out.”

  “I don’t hate him, Jason. We didn’t have some massive fallout.”

  “No, you just ran across the country out of fear for your life and here you are clinging to some sappy love poem.”

  Before I could get another word in, Jason left, slamming the door so hard the entire apartment shook. Jason didn’t understand that Dom wasn’t a monster. We’d killed for each other and that created a bond, but I wasn’t going to share that information with him.

  Suddenly cold, I grabbed the comforter and wrapped it around my naked body before sinking back down onto the futon. I should’ve stuck to taking things slow.

  Chapter 35

  My mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of Jason, that I forgot Victor was picking me up to take me shooting. I was still on the futon, staring at a blank wall, when he knocked on the door. I answered, wearing my pajamas. He looked me over and shook his head. “You forgot about me, Princess? I’m crushed,” he said, placing a hand over his heart.

  “Shut up and get in here. I had a rough night, alright? I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

  “Trouble with surfer boy?” he called after me as I walked down the hallway toward the bathroom with a change of clothes in my arms.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Want to shoot some things?”

  “Hells yeah!” I shouted and heard him laughing as I locked myself in the bathroom. That was
the truth too. Like with running, I found that shooting a gun was a huge stress release. Not only was it empowering knowing I could defend myself, but with each pull of the trigger, the explosion set something free inside of me.

  When we were done, Victor dropped me off at my apartment and Chelsea was home from work. She already had a bottle of wine out on the counter with two glasses poured and was in the kitchen cutting cheese to go with crackers. “Hey heartbreaker, are you ready for our girls night?” she asked.

  I should have known Chelsea would have already heard about last night’s disaster. “Let me guess, you saw Jason.”

  “Oh yeah, he was pretty hurt when he got home. I think I talked him away from the ledge though.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, your girl here assured him that you are not seeing Dominic on the side and that the present was a surprise. I think he’ll forgive. Jase has it bad for you.” Chelsea clamped her lips shut and looked away, suddenly finding the need to cut each slice of cheese the exact same thickness.

  “Chels, what aren’t you telling me?”

  She continued to avoid looking at me, but eventually caved under the pressure of my stare. Sighing dramatically, Chelsea set down the knife next to the cutting board. “He may have let the ‘L’ word slip when he was venting to me and Derek.”

  I sat down heavily on the stool and pulled one of the wine glasses toward me. “Wow. You know he asked me to move in with him since you and Derek are moving in together? Thanks for telling me, by the way.”

  Chelsea cringed and placed the cheese and crackers in front of me before grabbing the other glass of wine and sitting next to me. “I’m sorry. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about tonight. It happened really fast and the house is super cute. We couldn’t pass it up.”

  “I understand. It’s okay. Hearing it from Jase first was a surprise.”

  “Sorry,” Chelsea chewed on her lower lip and reached for a slice of cheese, placing it between two crackers. “So, are you going to take Jason up on his offer?”

  “Definitely no and last night was a clear sign to slow things down. Actually, I think I might take over the lease here. Do you know what I have to do?”

  Chelsea smiled and clinked her glass against mine. “I thought you’d choose this route and I already spoke to the property manager. You just have to fill out an application to make sure you’re not a felon and that you meet the income requirements.”

  It was that simple. Two weeks later, for the first time in my life, I was living by myself.

  ***

  It didn’t take long for Jason to apologize. He admitted he should have believed me, but he didn’t tell me that he loved me. Thank God. We picked up where we left off, but with me reverting back to taking it slow.

  A few days after Chelsea moved out, I was just getting back from an early evening run when my phone rang. Recognizing Grant’s number I answered right away and unlocked my apartment.

  “Hey Grant, how are you?”

  “I’m really good, Nat. How ‘bout you?” In the background I could hear the faint pulsating beat of music.

  “Doing okay. I miss you though. Are you at Crimson? I thought you weren’t working there anymore.”

  Since Grant became a Capo under Dom, he had more responsibilities which made him give up his role as head of security.

  “I’m here with Miranda, we have some news.” There was hesitation and my heart, which had been pumping hard from my run, seemed to stop. I sat down on the edge of the futon and gripped my phone tight, preparing for the worst: that Dominic was dead.

  “What news?” I managed to ask even though my mouth was bone dry.

  “We’re moving the wedding up to May 12th. I hope this doesn’t screw things up and that you can still make it out?”

  I almost laughed out of relief. This was news I could handle, but that meant the wedding was in two months. “Why the hurry – I thought you all wanted a fall wedding.”

  “We have more news.” Once again, I imagined the worst: someone was dying and they wanted to get married before this person died.

  “You’re going to be an aunt.” I almost dropped the phone.

  “What?”

  “Miranda’s pregnant and she wants to get married before she starts to really show. So can you fly out in May?”

  I’d have to work some extra shifts and maybe get a credit card to pay for the ticket, but I wouldn’t miss Grant’s wedding for anything. “I’ll be there and congratulations you guys!”

  “Thanks – it’s a little scary to be honest. I’m so glad you can still make it. Hold on, Miranda has girl stuff to discuss.”

  There was some light shuffling and muffled voices as Grant passed his phone over to Miranda.

  “Hey Nat!”

  “Hi, congratulations!”

  “Oh it’s crazy. I can’t believe we have a little bambino cooking. Your brother is so overprotective, I swear he’s going to get me maternity clothes made out of Kevlar.” I could hear Grant protesting in the background and I laughed. He had definitely met his match.

  “I can only imagine.”

  “So, since this wedding is on the fast track, can you text me your measurements for your bridesmaid dress?”

  “Sure, actually Chelsea took them for her wedding so I can send them right over.”

  “Perfect!”

  “So how is everything else going – you know with the family business?” I knew Miranda wouldn’t sugar coat and after the last conversation with Grant, where he was particularly evasive about things, I was concerned.

  “Surprisingly things are good. We had some issues, but nipped those in the bud. Dom made some smart business deals, which made a lot of people happy so it’s been really calm. Dom’s a real natural, but he carries a lot of the weight. I worry he isn’t taking care of himself. Do you guys talk at all?”

  “Not that often – we text occasionally though. It’s hard with the time difference.”

  “You should give him a call. I know you broke up, but he misses you, Nat, and I think it would be good for him to hear from you.”

  “Isn’t he seeing someone?” I was totally fishing for information now, but the curiosity was killing me. I was trying to move on and I’d hoped Dom was too.

  “No. He hasn’t even hooked up with anyone. It’s like he took a freakin’ vow of celibacy. Five months from now when I’m huge, I’ll probably be wishing I did the same.” We laughed together and then said our goodbyes. I hung up smiling at the prospect of becoming an aunt. Picturing Grant on diaper duty made me snort. I thought about what Miranda said about Dominic and sighed, sinking back against the futon. As much as I wanted to call him, he wasn’t my responsibility. We weren’t together anymore and I needed to focus on my relationship with Jason.

  So that’s what I did. When I wasn’t working my ass off at Dirty, picking up an extra night so I could pay rent and put extra aside for my airfare for Grant’s wedding, I ran and occasionally went surfing with Jason. I continued practicing shooting with Victor, despite Jason being unhappy about it. I made sure to keep my days and nights full. With a little bit of effort and less communication with Dominic, Jason and I grew closer.

  It was a Monday night in early April when Jason told me he loved me.

  We had ordered sushi and brought the take out back to my apartment. After dinner we curled up on the futon to watch a movie. Jason was spooning me from behind, his arm draped over my waist, tucking me closer to him. His other arm was beneath my head, serving as a nice pillow. During a heated moment on the screen between the two leads, Jason’s hand found its way underneath my shirt and crept up my stomach. Cupping my breast, he gently rolled the nipple between his thumb and forefinger through the lace, spreading warmth throughout my body.

  I flipped onto my back and Jason instantly lowered his mouth to mine, slipping his tongue past my parted lips. He moved so he was partially covering me, one of his legs placed strategically between my thighs, applying pressure in the right place. I
moved my hips, dry humping his thigh. He continued kissing me, occasionally sucking on my lower lip and nibbling on it, before claiming my mouth again. By this point, the movie was long forgotten as Jason explored my body with his hands. Nipples were teased until they were almost painfully hard. His hand slipped underneath the waistband of my jeans, pressing fingers against the sweet spot. My hips bucked and I moaned, encouraging him to explore deeper.

  Jason removed his hand, placing it on my stomach, and he broke the kiss. I opened my eyes, painfully aware of my body’s needs going unanswered. Jason was looking down at me, his expression soft yet serious.

  “Why did you stop?” I asked.

  He brushed a loose tendril of hair away from my face before gently tracing the outline of my lips. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered and slid his hand underneath my pants again. “Especially, when I do this.” He rubbed my clit, setting the bundle of nerves on fire and I arched against him.

  “Jase, oh!” I cried out when he increased the pressure, his erection growing harder and pressing against my hip.

  “I love you, Natalie,” Jason said and he might as well have dumped a bucket of ice on me, that’s how effectively he stopped my body from writhing beneath his. I tried to pull away, to push his weight off of me, needing air. “Hey, calm down. You don’t have to say it if you’re not ready, okay?” Jason smoothed the lines of my forehead and kissed the tip of my nose. He was right, I wasn’t ready. While I couldn’t give him a declaration like that, I could give him something else in return.